Text Post your best joke!
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Heisenberg
i am the danger
- Oct 5, 2013
- 151
- 46
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Because she had no arms.
JayC
Always Learning
- Aug 8, 2013
- 5,493
- 1,398
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Tiny
Owner, Swift Industry
- Aug 14, 2013
- 616
- 61
Teacher: Who created the earth?
(Boy pokes a girl's back with a pen)
Girl: Oh God!
Teacher: Good girl, correct ans!
Teacher: Who was born on Dec 25
(Boy again pokes the girls back)
Girl: Oh Jesus!
Teacher: What did Eve tell to Adam when they had their 17th baby?
(Boy does on girl's back again)
Girl: If you don't stop inserting that thing in me now. I'll break that into 2 pieces and just put it in your nostrils.
Teacher: Fainted!!
(Boy pokes a girl's back with a pen)
Girl: Oh God!
Teacher: Good girl, correct ans!
Teacher: Who was born on Dec 25
(Boy again pokes the girls back)
Girl: Oh Jesus!
Teacher: What did Eve tell to Adam when they had their 17th baby?
(Boy does on girl's back again)
Girl: If you don't stop inserting that thing in me now. I'll break that into 2 pieces and just put it in your nostrils.
Teacher: Fainted!!
Obey
You just played yourself.
- Nov 23, 2013
- 250
- 29
A cabby picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he's staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and you have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure there is nothing you could say or ask that I find offensive."
"Well, I've always wanted to have sex with a nun."
" Would that make you happy?" She asked.
"Oh yes sister. Very happy." The cabby replied.
She responded, "Well one of the rules of my order is to do my best to make others happy so, since it would make you happy I suppose it would be okay but first of all you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic and being a nun I couldn't have sex with you the way any other women could. You would have to do it to me, I think the term is in the back door."
The cab driver replies, " Well I'm single and Catholic and I wouldn't mind doing it that way."
"Ok" the nun says, "Pull into a dark alley."
He pulls into the alley, gets in the back seat with the nun, places her on her hands and knees, lifts her habit up just high enough to get to her and has his way. But when they get back on the road the cab driver starts crying.
" My dear child," said the nun, " Why are you crying?"
" Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess. I'm married and Jewish."
The nun says, " That's Okay, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
She answers, " My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and you have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure there is nothing you could say or ask that I find offensive."
"Well, I've always wanted to have sex with a nun."
" Would that make you happy?" She asked.
"Oh yes sister. Very happy." The cabby replied.
She responded, "Well one of the rules of my order is to do my best to make others happy so, since it would make you happy I suppose it would be okay but first of all you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic and being a nun I couldn't have sex with you the way any other women could. You would have to do it to me, I think the term is in the back door."
The cab driver replies, " Well I'm single and Catholic and I wouldn't mind doing it that way."
"Ok" the nun says, "Pull into a dark alley."
He pulls into the alley, gets in the back seat with the nun, places her on her hands and knees, lifts her habit up just high enough to get to her and has his way. But when they get back on the road the cab driver starts crying.
" My dear child," said the nun, " Why are you crying?"
" Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess. I'm married and Jewish."
The nun says, " That's Okay, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
Mexicano
El Patrón
- Aug 14, 2013
- 363
- 175
There are 4 people on top of a mountain a Asian, White guy, Black guy, Paki.
the asian says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the paki says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the black guys says: THIS IS FOH MY PEOPLE NIGGA! and he grabs the white guy and throws him over. (i suck at jokes but im bored.)
the asian says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the paki says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the black guys says: THIS IS FOH MY PEOPLE NIGGA! and he grabs the white guy and throws him over. (i suck at jokes but im bored.)
JayC
Always Learning
- Aug 8, 2013
- 5,493
- 1,398
Racist jokes on a community forum, where is the like down button?There are 4 people on top of a mountain a Asian, White guy, Black guy, Paki.
the asian says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the paki says: THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE! and he jumps
the black guys says: THIS IS FOH MY PEOPLE NIGGA! and he grabs the white guy and throws him over. (i suck at jokes but im bored.)
Crup
weeeeee
- Jul 25, 2010
- 545
- 310
Your mom i so poor, that when she goes to KFC she licks other peoples fingers.
That is more of a "your mom is so fat" joke.
