I need to share this..

[Miserable]

So, I work in a care home for people with dementia, and this one lady, she's been terribly ill for the past week. Last night, the trained nurse said she may not last the night - and because I've grew a bond between this resident as you do (My job is to make these elderly people happy and smiling) I had to go and see her.

So, I went to see this lady who I love just as much as my own Nan, and her family is gathered round her. I don't really know what to say, honestly. I give her a kiss on the forehead and say goodnight to her and because it's really difficult, to see them deteriorate from being lively and happy to being lifeless, it's hard to find words to say to the family and in the end - I didn't say anything other than a thank you, and I feel quite bad. I just couldn't find the words to say to that family. I didn't mean too, it's hard, ya'know?

 

[TesoMayn]

Should've tried getting her to put you in her will!

 

[Quackster]

Yes.

Last time I saw my grandmother I left in tears at the hotel room and I just couldn't say bye or goodbye, I feel fucking awful. I just couldn't do it.
I think about my grandmother at least once almost everyday and I have bad dreams about it.

 

[Khalil]

Yes.

Last time I saw my grandmother I left in tears at the hotel room and I just couldn't say bye or goodbye, I feel fucking awful. I just couldn't do it.
I think about my grandmother at least once almost everyday and I have bad dreams about it.

I can relate, last time I saw my father was at 4AM (he passed away at 6AM), I stayed by his side all night until he asked me to get sleeping because the next day I had school (it was Monday, 27th of January 2014), all I said to him was 'good night dad, get well, I'll see you in the morning)', I slept for two hours and then my mother woke me up at 6:30AM, I instantly knew something was wrong as I usually wake up at 7AM, I didn't think much of it, I took a glimpse at him (since you already know my room is right next to his), I saw him laying there, I thought he was sleeping, I went to the bathroom then came back to say good morning and check on him, when I got close to him, I noticed he wasn't breathing (and other signs that indicated he's gone), I refused to accept that he's gone and went into a state of denial, I kept asking him to wake up but no response, I collapsed and stayed on the ground for three hours straight, laying my head on the wall, looking at his body, until the men who were going to wash him up and cover him and get him ready for the burial came, when they started washing him, I was there, I couldn't stand the look of my father being prepared for burial, so I fainted and stayed that way for 5 minutes (so I was told), I stayed next to his grave the entire after-noon after the burial, crying for him and feeling guilt for not staying with him for the next few hours, maybe I could have been there for him when he was dying, maybe I could have said goodbye, maybe..

 

[Markshall]

I feel you Hannah.

Lost my 13 year old brother 2 days after Christmas 2 years ago. Doesn't matter whether it's family or not, you grow a bond with said person, it's gonna hurt.

I'm listening to this song reading this thread and it's well nice man

 

[Blueoptic]

My baba (grandma) has dementia too. She's all the time repeating herself, but is always asking for the better of someone else. She always reminds her guests to eat food, and tells them how beautiful they are. I honestly feel super bad for her, even when sometimes she doesn't even know who I am, or cant understand me vise versa (Ukrainian) I have a similar job. I stay at home and watch her, feed her, help her goto the bathroom etc @88, and put her in bed..

Its just aging. It'll happen to few but not everyone. And I agree its hard. I'd feel way more pain for my father, as that's his mom who now stays with us. She's super strong anywho. I don't think she's going anywhere anytime soon. But I feel you. Hope everything is well.

 

[Miserable]

Sad update. Audrey passed away this morning at 5am, her family are collecting the things from her room tomorrow. Thank you everyone for your replies, really appreciated.

 

[TesoMayn]

I have to agree with @Markshall, if you are close to someone then you are going to feel something when they pass.

 

[Miserable]

Urg, I was getting another lady up this morning, and I just so happened to open the door as they were taking her away if you know what I mean and I don't want to sound weak but I had to get someone else to wash and dress this lady because I just stood there in floods of tears.

 

[JayC]

My grandma owns a elderly home and one of the ladies there she never remembers me, but everytime I go in there I grab her hand and say hi to her and she gets a big smile on her face, I ask her if she remembers me and she says "Y-y-yeah" and I go "Who am I?" and she goes "Uhh.. I... I .. I don't know, I can't remember" and I go "It's okay. I am Jay, (My Grandmas Grandson) and she goes "Oh yeah!" but she really doesn't remember me lmao. She's just so sweet

 

[Miserable]

I know it's probably bad to have favourites in my job, but I really loved Audrey. I got her a Christmas present and her face lit up, she was so happy and this was quite touching, Audrey understands what is going on but she cannot talk but that one day, she turned around and she really did try hard to bring out 'I love you' and it was such a beautiful moment, it brought tears to my eyes.