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<blockquote data-quote="Wassim" data-source="post: 156988" data-attributes="member: 7285"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">Spring has sprung and love is in the air, my friends. Everywhere we look, people are coupling up in blissful hump celebrations. But you know what? This is a harsh world, and maybe some people just <em><span style="font-size: 16px">shouldn't</span></em> mate. In this feature, I present twenty couples who will make you reconsider the whole "continuing the human race" thing.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/mummy-lady.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">Now dude here ain't so bad, sort of a Sulu with a bowlcut thing, but what could be going through his head when he hooked up with this disturbing mummy beast on the right? You could put six paper bags over her head and the ugly would still burn through. That better be straight vodka in that frosty mug.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/deformed-jesus.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">Do you, Blondesmiley, accept Deformed Jesus as your lord and savior? One thing that this guy has going for him: you can never tell if he's high.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/goth.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">What is even happening here? I mean, it's good that you have that thing on a leash, but which one of you is even the dude? Are goth Juggalos allowed to be gay, too? Because we're getting dangerously close to a bingo here.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/cheeots.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">"Hey, Mom? I married Lou. You know, <em><span style="font-size: 16px">Lou</span></em>! The Hot Cheetos f-er. Hello? Mom?"</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/energy-drink.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="color: #111111"><span style="font-size: 16px">Yeah, baby. You better drink that energy drink. When he gets you home you're going to need every drop of gas in your tank.</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/college.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Okay, man, I know that college is when you "work things out" and "figure out who you really are," but you don't need to do this. Let go, back off, take a long shower and call your parents.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/gun-bird.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Some couples are just meant for each other. Like, literally, who else could complete this truly American tableau? Besides Hulk Hogan?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/thumbsup.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Bro, you are going to get crushed. That's the very definition of a "power bottom."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/wedding.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">If you like it, you better put a ring on it. Or a ring through it's nose.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/shaved-back.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">You don't want to know what she shaves.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/tanned.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Looking good, bro. Lean like a bag of beef jerky. Also way to transplant a dude's face on a hooker's body. You're a man of brains as well as brawn.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/lion-king.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">I love the Lion King. You love magical princesses, airbrushing and Moon Pies. Can a love like this stand the test of time?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/prom.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Dude, three hours later the most awkward post-prom makeout ever was unleashed on the face of the Earth. Scientists are still studying it.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/short.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">She's actually standing on a couple phone books. And he's standing in a hole.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/lesbian-mullet.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">They share clothes! And everything else. That leather vest is hotly contested though.</span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/penishead.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Tiny, tiny head, big, big heart. Isn't that what we learned from <em><span style="font-size: 16px">Rain Man</span></em>?</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/tinyface.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">My face is tiny! Your face is huge! We could maybe make a baby that's actually normal!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/bigfoot.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Yes, that guy is a catch for you. You are perfectly entitled to give the Thumbs Up in this situation. Yes, he is wearing a Wrestlemania T-shirt and has pubes on his head, but he's still out of your league.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/juggalos.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">The Internet has made it possible for Juggalos to meet and have sex. Think about that next time you sign into Gmail.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px"><span style="font-size: 16px"><img src="http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/sword.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px">Oh my God. This right here, this is true love. He will defend his buttergolem against the forces of evil with his mighty sword. Will I ever feel a love like that? And will I wash my hands afterwards?</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wassim, post: 156988, member: 7285"] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]Spring has sprung and love is in the air, my friends. Everywhere we look, people are coupling up in blissful hump celebrations. But you know what? This is a harsh world, and maybe some people just [I][SIZE=16px]shouldn't[/SIZE][/I] mate. In this feature, I present twenty couples who will make you reconsider the whole "continuing the human race" thing.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/mummy-lady.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]Now dude here ain't so bad, sort of a Sulu with a bowlcut thing, but what could be going through his head when he hooked up with this disturbing mummy beast on the right? You could put six paper bags over her head and the ugly would still burn through. That better be straight vodka in that frosty mug.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/deformed-jesus.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]Do you, Blondesmiley, accept Deformed Jesus as your lord and savior? One thing that this guy has going for him: you can never tell if he's high.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/goth.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]What is even happening here? I mean, it's good that you have that thing on a leash, but which one of you is even the dude? Are goth Juggalos allowed to be gay, too? Because we're getting dangerously close to a bingo here.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/cheeots.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]"Hey, Mom? I married Lou. You know, [I][SIZE=16px]Lou[/SIZE][/I]! The Hot Cheetos f-er. Hello? Mom?"[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/energy-drink.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px]Yeah, baby. You better drink that energy drink. When he gets you home you're going to need every drop of gas in your tank.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/college.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Okay, man, I know that college is when you "work things out" and "figure out who you really are," but you don't need to do this. Let go, back off, take a long shower and call your parents.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/gun-bird.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Some couples are just meant for each other. Like, literally, who else could complete this truly American tableau? Besides Hulk Hogan?[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/thumbsup.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Bro, you are going to get crushed. That's the very definition of a "power bottom."[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/wedding.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]If you like it, you better put a ring on it. Or a ring through it's nose.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/shaved-back.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]You don't want to know what she shaves.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/tanned.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Looking good, bro. Lean like a bag of beef jerky. Also way to transplant a dude's face on a hooker's body. You're a man of brains as well as brawn.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/lion-king.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]I love the Lion King. You love magical princesses, airbrushing and Moon Pies. Can a love like this stand the test of time?[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/prom.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Dude, three hours later the most awkward post-prom makeout ever was unleashed on the face of the Earth. Scientists are still studying it.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/short.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]She's actually standing on a couple phone books. And he's standing in a hole.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/lesbian-mullet.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]They share clothes! And everything else. That leather vest is hotly contested though.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px] [/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/penishead.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Tiny, tiny head, big, big heart. Isn't that what we learned from [I][SIZE=16px]Rain Man[/SIZE][/I]?[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/tinyface.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]My face is tiny! Your face is huge! We could maybe make a baby that's actually normal![/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/bigfoot.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Yes, that guy is a catch for you. You are perfectly entitled to give the Thumbs Up in this situation. Yes, he is wearing a Wrestlemania T-shirt and has pubes on his head, but he's still out of your league.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/juggalos.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]The Internet has made it possible for Juggalos to meet and have sex. Think about that next time you sign into Gmail.[/SIZE] [SIZE=16px][SIZE=16px][IMG]http://media.heavy.com/media/2010/03/sword.jpg[/IMG][/SIZE][/SIZE] [SIZE=16px]Oh my God. This right here, this is true love. He will defend his buttergolem against the forces of evil with his mighty sword. Will I ever feel a love like that? And will I wash my hands afterwards?[/SIZE] [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#111111][SIZE=16px] [/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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