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<blockquote data-quote="Weasel" data-source="post: 469046" data-attributes="member: 9520"><p>MOD's, don't warn me for bumping! So, here we go. In all honesty, I'm not even sure where to start. So much has happened since this all started, it's been a real rollercoaster. In the beginning, it was a positive thing for me. I was able to step back from a rushed lifestyle that almost got me burned out. I fully moved into my own house and starting living on myself full-time (before, I still switched between being at my mother's home and my own home).</p><p></p><p>For years, I've on and off been battling mental issues. Some years ago this started with the diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum, but it's always been more. Back when I got assistance on my autism, I refused the offer for additional mental support. It was something I was used to dealing with on my own, however, it wasn't as much as "dealing with", but rather shoving it under the rug for myself. I think now about a year ago, I kind of collapsed in on myself. Issues started to (re)surface, and it got worse by the day. Stuff got harder to deal with. This resulted in a few things, first was quitting my old job and going somewhere else. Something that was scary to do amidst the pandemic, especially with a mortgage to pay and giving up an indefinite contract to work somewhere else, without certainty. It was something I had to do though, as I was becoming unable to work at my previous employer. The second thing was, breaking up with my girlfriend at that time. I basically took the easy route out of that one. As I was unable to deal with some issues, it was simpler to just "break up". Something I, in hindsight, partially regret. Looking back at the last years, I'm full of regrets on some things. But when your mind is clouded, you can't think straight.</p><p></p><p>With the beginning of the new year, I hoped things would become easier, but sadly, they haven't yet. I did start to get help with myself this year, something that is starting to help out, but there's still a long way to go. What isn't helping is that this year already bombarded me with additional issues, something that does not help when you're trying to get everything back together. Luckily, I can carry one when there's a small bit of happiness I can ride along with, but those things have been rare the last few years or ended up blowing back into my face, making things even worse. It's an ongoing fight, with every day being a new battle. I do try to look forward positively, and search for the good things, or make amends where possible. </p><p></p><p>The fun thing is, the above actually is a TL;DR. I could basically write a book about everything that happened in the past few years. Some days are good, some days are bad. I'm trying to make the best out of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weasel, post: 469046, member: 9520"] MOD's, don't warn me for bumping! So, here we go. In all honesty, I'm not even sure where to start. So much has happened since this all started, it's been a real rollercoaster. In the beginning, it was a positive thing for me. I was able to step back from a rushed lifestyle that almost got me burned out. I fully moved into my own house and starting living on myself full-time (before, I still switched between being at my mother's home and my own home). For years, I've on and off been battling mental issues. Some years ago this started with the diagnosis of being on the autism spectrum, but it's always been more. Back when I got assistance on my autism, I refused the offer for additional mental support. It was something I was used to dealing with on my own, however, it wasn't as much as "dealing with", but rather shoving it under the rug for myself. I think now about a year ago, I kind of collapsed in on myself. Issues started to (re)surface, and it got worse by the day. Stuff got harder to deal with. This resulted in a few things, first was quitting my old job and going somewhere else. Something that was scary to do amidst the pandemic, especially with a mortgage to pay and giving up an indefinite contract to work somewhere else, without certainty. It was something I had to do though, as I was becoming unable to work at my previous employer. The second thing was, breaking up with my girlfriend at that time. I basically took the easy route out of that one. As I was unable to deal with some issues, it was simpler to just "break up". Something I, in hindsight, partially regret. Looking back at the last years, I'm full of regrets on some things. But when your mind is clouded, you can't think straight. With the beginning of the new year, I hoped things would become easier, but sadly, they haven't yet. I did start to get help with myself this year, something that is starting to help out, but there's still a long way to go. What isn't helping is that this year already bombarded me with additional issues, something that does not help when you're trying to get everything back together. Luckily, I can carry one when there's a small bit of happiness I can ride along with, but those things have been rare the last few years or ended up blowing back into my face, making things even worse. It's an ongoing fight, with every day being a new battle. I do try to look forward positively, and search for the good things, or make amends where possible. The fun thing is, the above actually is a TL;DR. I could basically write a book about everything that happened in the past few years. Some days are good, some days are bad. I'm trying to make the best out of it. [/QUOTE]
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