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Writing some stuff of my chest

Discussion in 'Life' started by Wess, Jun 11, 2017.

  1. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    Alright so as I really wanted to get this off my chest, but not to anyone I know this seemed to be a good place to do so. Don't see this as a cry for attention or anything, I've been debating to post this quite a while now, but just getting stuff of my chest really helps.

    So most people on here know me to some extend, and probably have a decent idea how my personality is. Starting of with a bit personal history. As far as I can remember, I've mostly always been in some kind of shitty, hard situation which forced me to mature up quite early. Either some shit with my father (which I've ceased contact with over a year ago), myself, my mother or little brother. Besides that, I'm a borderline alcoholic too, which is nice.

    Besides all that, I've always been a weird guy, who's really impulsive and make stupid decisions/actions every now and then (some of here know exactly what I'm talking about, right @Canadian/@Sledmore ?), can't really get along with mos others and some other stuff. The past few years I've also battled depression.

    However, a while back I decided enough is enough, something needs to change. Mostly, I need help with getting myself back in hand. Get in control of my character flaws that fuck shit up for myself. So I went to a psychologist. They've quite quickly decided they wanted to test me on some autism variants. Now, a while later, I'm awaiting the results which will be made known this Tuesday. After that there will also be made known how they are going to help me. I'm quite nervous, but also happy.

    So this is it, in a nutshell. Otherwise this thread could have been transformed into an ebook. Thanks for reading.
    Rain, Westyy, JMG and 4 others like this.
  2. Wickd

    Wickd The first member of the Knights of the Pink Table

    You're normal d00d XD
  3. bigdawg

    bigdawg fight teh power Staff Member

    Well, don't leave us in suspense!
  4. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    I've been diagnosed with autism this morning.
  5. DeadlyHabits

    DeadlyHabits github.com/marcus-sa

    A diagnose is just a diagnose bro, it only makes you different on paper, but not in the soul nor heart as that is defined by who you are as a person.
    Still never nice to find out.
  6. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    I don't let anything or anyone define who I am besides myself. Honestly, it's surely something I need to process, but I'm neither surprised nor saddened by this. I've always knew something in my head wasn't wired as it should be, knowing this opens up possibillities to better myself and receive the help I need to do so.

    The form of autism is asperge btw.
    DeadlyHabits likes this.
  7. Wickd

    Wickd The first member of the Knights of the Pink Table

    Listen Wess let me ask you one thing, do you think you're in the control of yourself?
  8. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    Not always, no.
  9. JMG

    JMG wut wut

    I've not really known you for long but probably one of the realest guys around here. Don't let it change you brother.
    Ethereal likes this.
  10. Wickd

    Wickd The first member of the Knights of the Pink Table

    What do you mean don't let him change him, it already happened?Best of luck in therapy.
  11. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    I get what he means. Sometimes people let the label they've gotten define who they are and change, embracin the stigma. I won't change though, things that are hard for me will just become easier to handle.
    JMG likes this.
  12. UnknownHelp

    UnknownHelp New Member

    asperger's syndrome is nothing to be ashamed of.
    It's a brave thing telling people you have it, due the fact they we're never respected about 10 years ago.
    It's exactly like said above, It's only something on a piece of paper, It gives you reasurance that you are different, and thats okay. Nothing wrong with being different.
    I grew up with my mother working as a counsellor for children/teens/adults diagnosed with asperger's syndrome and I grew up with all my friends turning out to have it, and I knew how to handle being with them, because my brother had it too.

    You just got to be brave, get the help that you need / never turn down the help they offer you. Because it's always better to help yourself, rather than pretending things are okay, when you know there not.

    You're just different. Nothing wrong with that. Don't let this one diagnose change your entire life. You're the same person. Just now with a label.

    Sorry for my shit spelling :)))))))))))
    Wess likes this.
  13. Ari

    Ari Member

    it rly isnt hard to get diagnosed with autism, they will diagnose any1 with it lol
  14. UnknownHelp

    UnknownHelp New Member

    @Ari They don't just diagnose someone with Aspergers though. Bit more difficult to do tests etc, Idk what country he's from, but in uk, can take 10 years to get a diagnoses. (unless you have lots of money ofc)
  15. griimnak

    griimnak You're a slave to the money then you die

    Don't let that offend you, @PrettyLittleLiar . Infact, you've got the advantage.
    People with Aspergers, typically, are more intelligent, can adapt to new environments quickly & are rarely confused.
    The takeaway is usually poor social interaction skills, depression, trouble sleeping. (probably because your mind races laps)

    The way I see it, It's just a difference, not a defect.
    The brain is a pretty interesting subject, i've always been fascinated with mental phenomenons like schizophrenia, dissociative personality disorder etcetc
    Ethereal likes this.
  16. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    The things you've named are correct. Tough I also have a hard time coping with change.

    The brain really is an interesting subject.
    griimnak likes this.
  17. Ari

    Ari Member

    i got diagnosed within 2 weeks by the NHS, you dont need to pay a penny lmao
  18. UnknownHelp

    UnknownHelp New Member

    Well times must be different now, but i know a gal who went for assesment at 10 years old, and only 10 years later got told she had it.
    my brother did assesment as 14, got told at 21 he had it. so, i could be out dated. but this was in liverpool both times.
  19. Westyy

    Westyy Spooky Donator Staff Member

    Lifes hard and it fucking sucks. I've been suffering with Depression for the past 2 years & have only just really came round it myself, so I understand what you've gone through with that. I spent most of my life training to join The Rifles in the British army & 1 month off going for my Selection process. I even posted about all this on this forum somewhere as I used to be very active and for some reason wanted to let everyone know I was going and the reason why. but, yeah. from 1 month off my selection process I managed to have a lower back injury while training in the gym. From then, I couldn't train properly for the next few months. It also would hurt when running which was not a good sign. Which then I fell into the state of me thinking there was no way I could go back in. Mostly because I've heard stories of people being denied from entering with such thing and it's not really a thing you'd want/could lie about either or it would just get worse. I was then told to take a break of upto 1 month, the pains did lower, but by then I already felt out of place. It was weird, it was like my brain just went off the fact of me training & I couldn't concentrate nor run again. I was in the greatest shape of my life before it happened until that point. Then I started to eat, food was only the real thing that put my mind off what happened.

    Then I noticed I gained a fair few weight, which then made my depression even worse. The cycle just went round and round again. The last few months I've taken my mind off it completely and I'm focusing on other careers for the time being and slowly gaining my fitness back & I've recently re-kindled with a sport that I used to love and still do motor-racing. I private testing now and again when I can & I race online as well.

    this isn't me aiming your thread towards me for some reason, it's more or less me explaining I've gone through depression myself and it's not easy. But you can get past it and become a better person because of it. I'm always here if you need to speak.
    Paypal likes this.
  20. Wess

    Wess BYPASSING OVERRIDE Staff Member FindRetros Moderator

    @Westyyyyyyyyyyyyyy totally understand what you've went through. It's a downward spiral, and often even the people close to you can't see exactly what's going on. Depression takes away your energy, which you need in order to get fit again, and it goes round and round and round. It's good you've managed to focus on other points for now, as setting hard goals to reach only contributes to depression. Setting slightly less bigger goals, which are achievable within a reasonable period, and building them up from there helps.

    Same goes for you man, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.
    Paypal and Westyy like this.

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